Wednesday 22 April 2009

To rant or not to rant!?

I'm new to this whole blogging malarkey and not sure yet whether I'm here for a 'rant of the day' or if this is my subconscious looking for a new creative outlet. I spend my days running after children and working. Its hard work don't be fooled. Some days I spend the whole day without a crossed word between myself and another adult. I feel like I'm talking to the wall talking to my kids they are neither old enough or wise enough to realise that mummy needs to talk. I am what most would describe as a chatterbox and i can and will talk for England given the opportunity. I need to pour myself out and as the plain old pen and paper are too much like hard work have decided to delve into the world of blogging. I like to think I'm moving with the times but maybe I'm just jumping on the band wagon a little too late as per usual.

So here i am, not sure why I'm here yet. But hopefully in time i can decide what the purpose of this blog is and hopefully i will not rant too much. Just a little incite into my mind is the aim of this i think. Providing myself with a daily wind down and pouring my thoughts and feelings onto the screen in an attempt to ease my stress.

Tuesday 21 April 2009

Depature days

These days are always the hardest i wake & your not there or you hang on until the last possible minute to leave me. I worry that you will not arrive at your destination safely then my day emerges into something different and its like you were never here at all. I'm busy cleaning and sorting and fulfilling that space meant for us, to talk to laugh to hug, but you are gone and I am alone. And so the coming and going begins.

That first day you left you smelt so good and looked so smart i didnt want to let you go. I watched you walk away with the most mixed up feelings of pride and sadness. I wanted to say you make me proud but couldnt i knew you'd brush this praise away, so instead i hugged you tight and told you i love you.